Dear KDWB

I was going to try to think of something funny to say about how your station plays the best music and I find it to be highly enriching and valuable, but I couldn't, not even as a joke. That's how bad your station is.

It's so totally without value that my conscience will not allow me cool flippancy. Your radio station, "number one for today'shit music" (I'm keeping the Freudian typo, thanks), broadcasts something so inferior to silence that its existence baffles me. The free market is supposed to weed out things that suck, the same way natural selection weeds out unworkable genetic mutations. What is the mechanism by which you defy this law of the marketplace?

Why not shut the radio off, you are probably wondering. The nature of my job keeps me in range of the radio but unable to get to it for sometimes as long as an hour at a time. Some dickweed with no brain keeps turning your station on and I have to get up and shut it off again, so I spend a fair amount of time aggravated. Hearing your barfing deejays, stupid commercials, and horrible music reminds me of what a bunch of total idiots make up "the public", and that's something I don't like thinking about. It depresses me.

Everybody knows it's not you personally, the person reading this, that sucks. You're just doing your job and it's not your fault the station's format is what it is. I honestly hope you spend every available moment of your life trying to figure out how to get away from that terrible place.

Sincerely,
Dale