I ain't working in chemotherapy

This was addressed to all personnel management in my department.

Dear five or six managers,

When I get moved around, I do as I'm told. I may prefer some jobs here at the pharmacy to others, but I don't refuse to do anything. I've done leeches, IVs, station checks, moved pyxis machines, fixed them, done 8P, decentral, and all kinds of other things, and done well at each; the tube system has never known a more fiendish adversary than when I work first fill. One thing I sincerely like about coming here, is you show up and do your job as well as you can, and then you're done and go home, and it's not a job you take home with you. Working here has made me appreciate the clean separation of work (professional life) and home (if you will, regular life). At least (and you may have seen this coming) until now.

I found my transistion three weeks ago back into the IV room to be very easy, albeit a little strange. Whatever the genesis of the idea to move me back in there, it's something I am capable of doing with (dare I say) a high degree of proficiency. My instincts tell me there was probably some antagonism directed toward me that resulted in my being relocated, but since no one ever mentioned it, I'm content it was a decision management is comfortable with. Not that it matters, but this is just fine with me.

But next weekend, the first in April, I am surprised to see that I have been scheduled to train in chemotherapy, and this presents a problem. Not that it is something I would address if there were any other way to go about it, but you force my hand, so I have to now reveal that I am planning to reproduce, and I don't want any babies coming out with flippers for arms or any other birth defects.

When I plan to make babies is not up for discussion, not least of all because it is an intensely (is there anything more personal?) private matter that doesn't concern one among you.

In short, I refuse to comply with my scheduled shifts training in chemotherapy.

I trust that working together, we can find a way to overcome this obstacle, whether it is through disciplinary action, giving me the weekend off and calling it even, or moving me to another work area. Please don't hesitate to let me know how I may be of help in resolving this matter.

Thanks,
Dale
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Subject: RE: my upcoming schedule

I am shocked, flabbergasted and amazed that not a single one of you chose to respond to my email, which, if your memories are as bad as your sense of obligation to your employees, is included below. If I have learned one thing from your collective silence, it is that I do not feel responsible for the events that transpire this weekend, and that my expectations of you were inflated. I shall report as scheduled at the pharmacy, where, as per the schedule, I will take up space and get paid. In closing, I must say that I would be more concerned with how the department wastes its money than you apparently are is even more surprising than your refusal to make even the smallest of
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Then I accidentally sent it, just like that. Then I sent another one.
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Outlook tip of the day:
If you hit control and enter at the same time, it sends the email immediately, and without giving you the chance to edit horrible nonsensical sentences which are in the midst of being written.

How that was supposed to go was, essentially, "I can't believe none of you bothered to respond."

Sincerely,
Dale