Dear Dale,

I am a 24 year old Bro, and I long for life on the road sometimes. I wonder what life would be like as a trucker. Are those guys awesome or what? Do you think it's true that they are the last cowboys?

Regards,
Philip Charles Pimberton


Dear Finny,

I can assure you that your shiny new life as a trucker would surely exceed the wildest of your expectations in every way. If I hadn't devoted my life to being a reggae singer you can bet your ass I'd be out there hauling a load of freight across the country, connecting A and B, creating what we think of as America. And blow your mind with this why don't you: when you consider Merle Haggard and the open sky seen through a windshield, the thrust and fumes of burning diesel, the string of witty, toothless truck stop waitresses, and the boundless capabilities of wireless communications, wouldn't you stand to lose more than gain by NOT trucking? Motherfuck!

Never again disgrace my inbox with such a foolish query.

-Dale